The Messy Life

"do you remember the first time you were called annoying?
how your breath stopped short in your chest
the way the light drained from your eyes, though you knew your cheeks were ablaze
the way your throat tightened as you tried to form an argument that got lost on your tongue.
your eyes never left the floor that day.
you were 13.

you’re 20 now, and i still see the light fade from your eyes when you talk about your interests for “too long,”
apologies littering every other sentence,
words trailing off a cliff you haven’t jumped from in 7 years.
i could listen to you forever, though i know speaking for more than 3 uninterrupted minutes makes you anxious.
all i want you to know is that you deserve to be heard
for 3 minutes
for 10 minutes
for 2 hours

there will be people who cannot handle your grace, your beauty, your wisdom, your heart;
mostly because they can’t handle their own.

but you will never be
and have never been
“too much.”

— 2 days ago with 235840 notes

When a man feels sorry for his abusive behavior, his regrets collide with his entitlement. The contradictory chatter inside his head sounds something like this:

I feel bad that I said ‘fuck you’ to her; that’s not a good thing to say, especially in front of the children. I lost it, and I want my family to have an image of me as always being strong and in charge. I don’t like for them to see me looking ugly the way I did in that argument; it hurts my self-esteem. But she called me “irresponsible”! How does she expect me to react when she says something like that? She can’t talk to me that way. Now the children are going to think I was the bad guy, when she was the cause of it. If they start siding with her, I’m going to let them know why I was mad. Now she’s made me look really bad. Fuck her.

Let’s follow the path that this man’s internal dialogue takes. First, his remorse is not primarily focused on the way his verbal assault wounded his partner. What he feels bad about mostly is: (1) He damaged his image in other people’s eyes; (2) he offended his own sense of how he would like to be; (3) he feels he should be able to control his partner without resorting to abuse. From those thoughts he slides into blaming his outburst on his partner, which he feels entitled to do, and in this way rids himself of his feelings of guilt. By the end of his self-talk, he is holding his partner responsible for everything, including the effects that he has just had on their children. The abuser’s self-focus and victim-blaming orientation tend to cause his remorse to fade in this way.

"Why Does He Do That?" by Lundy Bancroft (via bajo-el-mar)

(via brujitaxicanita)

— 2 weeks ago with 463 notes
#abuse tw  #domestic violence tw 

The series finale of HIMYM all wrapped up in one picture.


The series finale of HIMYM all wrapped up in one picture.

(via polkadotsandlipstick)

— 2 weeks ago with 11427 notes
They Had Love Letters, We Have Sexting →


When it comes to sexting in public,
there are a few things to know:

The first thing
is that whatever you were doing before,
will not get done. If you’re doing it right,
this is going to be your main focus
for a hot minute.

This is a game of discreet passion.
You have to be both
in the…

(Source: wordsoftakumi)

— 2 weeks ago with 313 notes
Rich Heir Rapes His 3 Year-Old Daughter, Gets No Jail Time Because He ‘Will Not Fare Well’ In Prison →





Everything about this is disgusting.

Here’s a petition to get this idiotic judge fired!

Affluenza strikes again. 

And more to the point, it’s glaringly obvious the rules are incredibly different for the 1% and those in the cheap seats but… seeing how stark those differences are can be incredibly frustrating. Sure, when you’re so well connected that your parents lunch with the D.A and or the Senator is on your speed dial, that’s one thing but when you do something this morally depraved and get special consideration when every other person in the same circumstance would be justly pilloried it says a lot about how “affluenza” and those judges who dole out preferential treatment really think about social class.

Nobody “fares well” in prison, but it only matters when a rich white guy might end up there.

Sign the petition!

— 2 weeks ago with 2326 notes
#affluenza  #privilege 




R.I.P. Selena in our hearts. “Dreaming of you”

Remembering Selena 31 March 1995.

I can’t believe it’s been 19 years already 😢

44 presidents 1 queen

(via fuckyeahmexico)

— 2 weeks ago with 3489 notes